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      <image:title>Satirical Writer Taking On Life's Cruel Sense of Humor One Word At A Time - BREAKING: Man Hired To Repair Shower Doesn’t Murder Female Homeowner</image:title>
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      <image:title>Satirical Writer Taking On Life's Cruel Sense of Humor One Word At A Time - To The Over-Priced Disposable Razor Who Suffers From My Lack Of Attention During This Quarantine</image:title>
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      <image:title>Satirical Writer Taking On Life's Cruel Sense of Humor One Word At A Time - Now That We’ve All Seen Chris Evans’ Junk Can We Talk About Why We Only Slut-Shame Women For Leaked Nudes?</image:title>
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      <image:title>Satirical Writer Taking On Life's Cruel Sense of Humor One Word At A Time - Zac Efron’s New Netflix Show Causes Spike In Vibrator Sales</image:title>
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      <image:title>Satirical Writer Taking On Life's Cruel Sense of Humor One Word At A Time - A Step-By-Step Guide For The Boomers Who Still Can’t Figure Out How To Use The Printer</image:title>
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    <lastmod>2021-04-27</lastmod>
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    <lastmod>2021-05-01</lastmod>
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    <lastmod>2021-04-27</lastmod>
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      <image:title>Essays - THIRTEEN STAGES OF GRIEF</image:title>
      <image:caption>Recognized as a Notable Essay in “The Best American Essays 2016” Three days after the funeral it became no longer acceptable to cry. So I did my best to hide my tears in the shower and in the car but they were disobedient little bastards. I’d wake in the middle of the night to find they’d soaked my cheeks and my pillow. It was the worst kind of crying. The kind that created an unnatural swelling under your eyes. The kind that caused your body to ache. It hurt to put on pants or to change my shirt, so for two weeks I didn’t …</image:caption>
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      <image:title>Essays - MY FATHER’S DEATH CHANGED MY PERSPECTIVE…</image:title>
      <image:caption>My father was the stereotypical all-American man. He drank Budweiser from a can, ate far too much spaghetti, and had a handlebar moustache that intimidated even the toughest boys I brought…</image:caption>
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      <image:title>Essays - AN OFFICE MEMO</image:title>
      <image:caption>D.U.M. Accessories invites you to participate in Employer Appreciation Month, a mandatory program carefully designed by the generous founder and innate leader of our company. Adapted from a program trending on the West Coast, it is intended to unite employees by simply encouraging them to demonstrate their thanks for being fortunate enough to find themselves employed during such appalling economic times. By performing the acts of gratitude suggested below, D.U.M. employees will be greatly rewarded with the satisfaction of knowing they’re contributing to the incline of company morale …</image:caption>
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